A quiet whisper is all I need
A firm touch which dispels my fears.
Your possessive touch I so desire.
A spirit has touched me and I now heal.
The touch which strokes my body and soul.
Makes me whole, no longer lost.
My thoughts no longer confuse me.
In your hands, my eyes open and for the first time I do see.
My whispers are soft and gentle spoken in the simple word.
For the entire world to see, submissive thoughts to be heard.
The clocks change on Sunday morning at 2am when it becomes, as if magic, 1am!
I will be at Club Smack so that should mean an extra hour or debauchery and fun to be had. Oh what fun.
Two of my favourite blogs have recently gone... Miss Troy Orleans and Miss Victoria X. I wonder if this is coincidence or a reflection of the recent police activity in New York with the raid on well known houses of BDSM.
I was asked recently to write about a 1000 words on what I thought described the perfect Goddess (Goddess worship being a very relevant topic in my life at the moment). This is what I came up with
A Goddess has very special attributes. A Goddess is there to be worshipped, venerated and adored. Her orders and wishes are to be obeyed without question, without hesitation and if you adore a Goddess it becomes you place to satisfy the desires of the Goddess and that is all the matters in your life.
Are there typical physical attributes for a Goddess? Well, the quick answer is yes! But of course that is too simple. In reality each submissive has in his mind an image of a Goddess. For me, She would have to be tall. 5’8 or above I am guessing, as when She wears shoes, which of course would always have at least a 5” heel, She be an imposing tall figure, above my 5’10. She would be well proportioned. Her figure would stop traffic, the classic hour glass. She would always dress in such a way that women are envious and men are lustful. She epitomises sex and of course uses this to control men to her advantage. But of course, those are just physical attributes. A Goddess is aware of Her divinity and has no need to demand worship as it is freely given by those who desire to serve. When near Her, you can feel and sense the power and know that this is someone very special.
There is of course the subject of Goddess Worship and what this entails and encompasses. Much of this, the need to worship the Goddess, the desire to submit and feel you are at Her mercy comes from the sense of being less than worthy, but not from having no sense of worth. A Goddess, in my mind, would never want a worthless subject.
Worship has at least two meanings . Back in ye olden days men loved their ‘maiden faire’ and worshipped her for that, but for me there’s another kind and that is to surrender to Her as a divinity. And it is of course the latter that concerns us here. There are so many different ways to "worship" a Goddess. Some are traditional ways that many slaves are into, including me. The first and most obvious is worshipping someone as a deity, or at least a representative of a deity. In these scenes, the slave is a supplicant who prays to the Goddess asking for Her blessing and offer sacrifices and offerings to Her (often financial) including their pain and suffering.
Many slaves consider "worship" to signify sexual worship. However worship could well be interchanged with the term service and may well be somewhat interchangeable to many in the BDSM context, at least in how they play out, but I think the attitude of the slave is different when looking at service or worship. Service has the connotation of performing whatever the Goddess commands, whereas worship has more aspects of actively giving something to one who is above human demands.
So what do I mean by sexual worship? It really can be anything agreed upon by Goddess and slave, but for most people, the image that stands out is that of oral service, with no thought or expectation of release for the slave himself. The pleasure of the slave is in the giving and nothing is needed from the slave over and above that. There is something inherent in it that conjures up images of obeisance and even spirituality when the act is purely one of giving.
Some slaves (and again I count myself as amongst these) are also very much into strap-on "worship," which again usually involves oral service of the dildo. This is much more than just a simple blow job of an inanimate dildo; the attitude of the slave is all-important. They must approach the strap-on with proper respect and awe and show respect and obedience to it at all times, along with the requisite oral servicing.
The oral theme is not the only one in sexual worship. Some Goddesses consider actual intercourse to be a form of worship, if done in the proper submissive way. I don't hold with this approach and have never considered this an act of worship and to be fair, never will.
Besides straight-out sexual worship, there is a great deal of potential for sensual worship. This may be worshipful caressing, massaging, kissing, etc. over the entire body of the object of worship. This form of worship can be quite powerful, as it has connections with the longstanding tradition of kissing icons, relics and other religious objects.
The Goddess can also be "worshipped" in very traditional ways with flowers, being taken out to dinner, receiving presents, and so on. In many cases, these chivalrous actions might seem almost offensive, hearkening back to an older and less gender-equal time, but surely if the slave is performing them humbly and selflessly they do become a form of worship instead of a chauvinist method of courting.
Finally there is fetish worship where not only You, but the items You might wear become a potential object for worship. We have all come across "foot worship” and it is commonly known, I’m sure. But in many cases it is not so much the foot, as the shoe or boot that is being worshipped. Like many slaves I love to worship high heels, boots and other things. Again, in these cases, the "worshipping" usually involves kissing, licking, smelling, and generally showing an attitude of awe towards these items. It is the element of contact with the Goddess that becomes important. And an ideal Goddess will understand this and use it as a reward when needed. Of course, to have this refused or withheld is often an effective form of punishment.
There is so much I would want Goddess to be apart from all the above! She needs to firm but kind, compassionate but strict, know when to punish and when to reward. She must want to be worshipped but also ensure that she is worshipped in the way that is acceptable to Her. But of course, there is another side that is way from the physical and that is handing control over to the Goddess and that control may take the form of financial, sexual or whatever is acceptable.
I try very hard to have no pre-conceived idea of what a Goddess is and is not and it of course the Goddess Herself who creates Her own Goddess persona. She has got to have the desire and want to be worshipped and will accept the worship as it is intend, as an act of adoration and devotion.
So, what is a perfect Goddess? I don’t know but I do know that to me, each Goddess is perfect.
Reading the How to be a Mistress blog today, reminded me of a conversation I had whilst driving back to London after filming for The English Mansion. I had two Mistresses in the car, one from the US and one from the UK and we were talking about going to fetish clubs etc. when the Mistress from the UK said that she did not go to fetish clubs because being a Mistress was her job and she had no interest in fetish outside of that.
I was, to say the least, slightly taken aback at that remark as it was truly the first time I think I had come across a pro-Domme who say what she did as a 9-5 type occupation - get up, go to the dungeon for 11, see some clients and go home! I would say that every Mistress I have ever met has always had some interest in either BDSM or fetish outside of the dungeon and usually have become a Mistress because of the interest. Then reading the How to be etc. blog today I wondered if this was the same. Here is a lady who made a deliberate move to a place to set up a dungeon to be a Professional Mistress. Then of course, I read the rest of the blog and see that no, this is a lifestyler who has seen the light and moved from a submissive female to Dominant Mistress (hurrah) so I suspect the Mistress in question is in a very small minority. Let us hope so anyway.
There I am, having a chat on yahoo to a person who I am starting to like a lot, probably too much but that's a different story, when we start talking about this blog. She is only the second person I have told about it and probably the last!
I am conscious that some of the stuff I have written may seem that I can do no wrong. But that is not my intention. I have many faults and accept most of them. I am, for instance, overweight. But, I deal with it and just move on. I am, on occasion, a bit bratty and will throw my toys out and sulk from time to time. But have only portrayed the worse in others whilst setting my self up as without fault? Mostly, reading back, I have just said what was on my mind and how I felt about things. But I was, indirectly, today told that because I seem to not paint myself with faults, to an outsider who may come across this blog, it would weaken my credibility.
Now, of course, do I have any credibility? I know that I am quite well known on the fetish scene and do get asked my views on all sorts of stuff to do with fetish and BDSM. In my vanilla world, I regularly speak and present about my subject matter and would like to think that I am well regarded in what I do. So, perhaps I do have some credibility but by hiding behind the veil of anonymity I remove all that credibility. But of course, the reverse of being anonymous is that I can just comment on what I see and experience without having to compare myself to it. This blog was and will always be about what I think and what I see and feel. It will, by its nature be occasionally judgemental but that is the nature of man. We are all judgemental on one level or more, so there is no difference here.
Finally, as I write this I feel I am having to justify myself. I have no need to or desire to so no more posts where I may apologise. I am me and happy with me and therefore shall just carry on as me.
OK Financial Domination is not, in all instances, a lazy way to dominate and some, a few, do put effort into what they do in terms of maintaining contact with the slaves, giving them visual treats and updates.
But, I still hold that for the majority, they just look at it as a way of getting money from guys for doing very little other than sending off the occasional email or yahoo chat.
Oh.. and why have I seen this picture used so many times by FD's? I am sure there is a guy in a little flat somewhere creating profiles on collareme using the same photos and the same scam.
Why is is that chastity is seen as the desired end game for so many Dommes and especially those who practice the bizarre act of Financial Domination??
I have recently been chatting to a very nice person who made contact with me via another site I belong to. I have, I will admit, been curious about Financial Domination as I have always questioned the satisfaction that can be achieved from this and also, to be frank, is seems a very lazy way to dominate! But, there seems to a lot of guys who say they are into and and you only have to look at sites such as Collarme.com, MFDS etc. to see there are plenty of woman offering it as a service to the cash rich subs out there (of which I definitely do not identify as one!). I have managed to avoid handing over any cash far, just really wanting to know more but suddenly, last night, I was told that she wanted to own my cock and balls and would expect me to be in a chastity device if this were to continue.
Now, what does she know about my private life to assume that is practical? Aside from the fact that I like sex with people outside the fetish world, I also travel a lot and suspect that questions would be asked if I was discovered with my cock locked up in some polycarbonate cage. There is the hygiene to to think of as well as the comfort! Sitting in a airplane seat for 4 hours whilst I fly to some Middle-East country is bad enough. But to have my cock and balls trapped at the same time can only make it worse. But yet, there it was. She wanted to own my cock and balls and if we were to progress to a Financial Domination relationship, I would be expected to purchase and wear such a device for periods of her choosing. And she was not just talking about a few days! No!! She was talking about weeks and possibly building up to months. I cannot imagine not having access to my peepee for this long. I quite enjoy seeing the little fella each morning and have no desire to see it locked up for even a day. Why therefore do so many men seem willing to locked away like this? Or of course do they? I suspect most guys figure out how to remove the damned device and just put it on when needed for photo evidence, or maybe that is just my cynical nature. So, I suspect in the short, medium and even the long term, my cock and balls shall remain mine and free.
How do you react when your Aunt seems to know a lot of the same people you do?
Let me explain. This particular Aunt is only two years older than me. At 17, I was introduced to the Blues Party scene - the early sound systems that you see regularly at Notting Hill Carnival now days and really my musical and drugs education started from there.
So, we met up for a drink the other night and just chatting when she mentioned a name. The person concerned is someone who I also know from the fetish clubs and suddenly we are bouncing names of one another. It seems that we both went through the whole rave and dance scene in the mid to late '80's and then migrated to the fetish club scene. It is a strange feeling opening up to your Aunt who I suddenly realise is the mirror of me. Both of us run close to the edge in terms the law, both of us have similar experiences with drugs, both of us refuse to accept we are closer to 50 than 30. And then, a bit of a bombshell so to speak when she starts talking about tying guys up and pouring wax on them to get her own way!
So, of course, this lead me to start thinking of the many stories you see on the likes of literotica, fictionmania etc. where the young submissive male is dominated by the Aunty in various situations. Perhaps there was truth in these tales, who knows. All I know is that I probably have to be a bit more circumspect where I spend my weekends!
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