Suddenly, it all became clear.

The last few months have caused me concern. It is as a malaise of some sort and grew into apathy. Then today it hit me what was wrong. I am bored. Really really bored. Bored of going out to clubs, seeing the same people talk about the same things, the same cliques, the same sense that no-one and nothing has moved on. Of course, I am as just as much to blame! I go to the same clubs where I meet the same people. But this year, I have been out 3, 4 times and really I do not miss it. Some history may be due here. I went to my first fetish club over 25 years ago, in 1984 I think - Der Putsch. It was on a boat and run by Steve and Sadie who went on to run Westward Bound. I was very lucky I realise in that I made friends with some fetish insiders very quickly and was soon a regular face on the scene. Back in the 80’s there there not that many clubs to go to really. Der Putsch and Submission were the two main ones and interclub rivalries were rampant! There were many tales of Sadie banning people if she found out they had been to Submission!

I met some amazing people some of whom I still count as friends and many I still see out and about when I do go to clubs. For the next 8 years, I was a regular club goer and had a fine old time. But then, without warning I stopped. The feeling I have now was the feeling I had then. The relationship I was in was going wrong, I was tired of abusing my body in not a good way with the drugs that are almost an unwritten part of the scene and I just wanted out. The last time was a 10 year break and I wonder if it will be the same this time. The relationship I was in with Mistress has changed so much it is hard to really call it a Mistress/slave relationship anymore. There is only one club I enjoy going to nowadays, that being Pedestal. I miss Smack a lot and wish it would go back to the original venue but that will not happen of course. So, what do to. Hang up the chaps and call it a day or just carry on. I don’t know but I am sure an answer will come soon. But I am bored. Bored of being in chastity. Bored of stupid girls who think they are a Mistress because some idiot of a guy calls them it, bored of seeing ill-informed people try to foist their opinions and views on BDSM onto me as they one true light, bored of message boards that give a welcome but at the slightest transgression shoot the poster down in flames, bored of attitude of the press towards BDSM, bored of chastity, bored of cheap latex, bored bored bored bored bored.