I am often asked who else knows about my kinks. Well for me, most people who know me and the majority of my family aged between 21 and 70! I made a very conscious decision sometime ago to not hid what I was and what I liked. To me, it seemed the easiest way and also the most honest. Why should I live my life behind a veil of what others did not understand when others who had alternative sexualities could be as open as they wished. It is alright to gay and out but not a submissive and out! For me, being submissive is the core of what defines me. Similarly, my masochism is my sexuality in so many ways that to hide it would be deceitful and far to difficult.
But, recently, I find myself hesitating to tell people what exactly I am into and am using a watered down version and I don't know why. I have never been ashamed of what I like and what turns me on. And mostly, after the few jokes and whip cracking noises, the topic is forgotten and moved on. But I have never held back. If someone asked me if I like pain, I would happily tell them yes and how much! Why am I suddenly finding myself not being as open as I used to be? Nothing has really changed in my life and I am not ashamed of what and who I am in this, or indeed, any other respect. Part of me things that BDSM suddenly became very mainstream with the recent press coverage of the Max Moseley affair and what was something that I held dear to my heart became sordid and seedy and I have never wanted to be associated with anything that could be described as such. I don't know, but I do know I want to go back to the way I was, proud of being a kinkster and not ashamed of being, in so many peoples eyes, different.
