As economy takes a hit, women become dominatrixes to pad their income Saw this report from New York. In many ways it mirrors what is happening in London as well. However, the downside is that it leads to a state where there is a distinct lack of quality and with the long term providers now having to compete for a lot less business.
Not sure if it is good thing or bad but definitely a sign of the times.
I love this post by Ms Slide. To me, it is the best definition of the relationship between a Professional Mistress and a paying submissive I have seen. So many posts you see out there seem to argue that because the client pays he (and it usually a he) is in effect topping and controlling the session. But that argument has never felt right to me and Ms Slide, better than anyone, has shown me why.
Whilst Bitchy Jones (whose blog I really do like) rants on often about Pro-Dommes and why in her view they are wrong, Ms Slide has offered up a view that makes sense and shows that females are still in charge.
Thank-you Ms Slide for the post.
One day, you suddenly wake up and bang.. you find yourself missing something very important in you life.
For the past few weeks, I have found myself thus. Not really knowing what it was, unable to put a finger on what it was. Then I realised. It is contact. Contact with the Person who gives a lot of my life meaning. But of course, that is the easy part, realising what is missing. The hard part is understanding why it is missing, why have I have not been able to keep in contact as I should. That takes longer, demands deeper thought and diving deeper into yourself. To admit that the reason there has been no contact is to admit that something has occurred and the fault lies with me. It is always up to me, rightly so, to keep contact with Mistress. As Her slave, I should never have anything that I cannot discuss with Mistress. But of course, we are just human and some things I find hard to discuss with even myself. So we have somewhere like this where I can put my thoughts and feelings down freely.
For the first time in a long time I find myself wanting to session, in a professional way, with Mistress. This is a feeling that over recent weeks has become stronger and stronger. Time is the biggest barrier of course, but I will deal with that. To submit to the flogger, the whip and of course show my servitude in any way Mistress desires is now uppermost in my mind, but even that brings a sense of guilt as part of me has forgotten what it is like to session properly and there is a hesitation, even a fear to do so. Totally irrational of course, just my own internal issues and hang-ups.
I do feel at times very mixed up. I know, or at least I hope, that I could have a lot more time with Mistress if I were able. But my other life, my real life so to speak, is very demanding at the moment (excuses I know but also reality). I want to go out to more clubs and parties as there is not shortage of invites. But this I also know will never happen unless I make changes in my life that will affect to many others and I am I honest I cannot really ever see happening.
I would say I am not usually down-beat and depressed but today is one of those days. Just a winging sub I am sure you say. Just the facts of life I say.
Reading the How to be a Mistress blog today, reminded me of a conversation I had whilst driving back to London after filming for The English Mansion. I had two Mistresses in the car, one from the US and one from the UK and we were talking about going to fetish clubs etc. when the Mistress from the UK said that she did not go to fetish clubs because being a Mistress was her job and she had no interest in fetish outside of that.
I was, to say the least, slightly taken aback at that remark as it was truly the first time I think I had come across a pro-Domme who say what she did as a 9-5 type occupation - get up, go to the dungeon for 11, see some clients and go home! I would say that every Mistress I have ever met has always had some interest in either BDSM or fetish outside of the dungeon and usually have become a Mistress because of the interest. Then reading the How to be etc. blog today I wondered if this was the same. Here is a lady who made a deliberate move to a place to set up a dungeon to be a Professional Mistress. Then of course, I read the rest of the blog and see that no, this is a lifestyler who has seen the light and moved from a submissive female to Dominant Mistress (hurrah) so I suspect the Mistress in question is in a very small minority. Let us hope so anyway.
Eventually, I knew I would broach this topic as it seems it is one that is brushed under the carpet and never really talked about but here goes.
Firstly, I have to come clean and say that I am not totally innocent in all of this. I have taken more drugs that I can honestly remember over the years. E, Coke, MDMA, Ketamine, Amyl and very occasionally speed were the drugs of choice. Nowadays, Viagra is in the mix as well. So, why is there such a preponderance of drug usage in the fetish and BDSM scene. Of course, I can only talk about London, but it may well be the same in ever major city that has an active scene. I can remember great times in Amsterdam and Berlin where there was huge obvious drug taking, whilst in London, it seems to be slightly more circumspect with lavatories and dark corners the place of choice. From my own experience, I know that when I have taken a pill or two, I play harder and longer and end up with a lot more bruises! But the intensity of feeling, the euphoria of the moment that comes is addictive (which of course is the point of many drugs) and one that I do miss. As you may have notices, I have not mentioned Pot, Weed, Cannabis etc. Why? Well I have never smoked and therefore have never really wanted to take any of these, hence not having any knowledge of what they can do first-hand.
Of course, what makes me laugh really loudly is when I see ad's from Pro-Dommes who say they will only session with those who are drug free and yet, when I see them out and about at clubs and parties are usually totally wankered on drugs themselves! Of course, many will say this is not hypocritical, at they are putting the safety of the paying punter first. But I also see them play in clubs, so whose safety are thy putting first then? And please don't tell me that these are not paying punters, as there are many Mistress who offer to take a client to a club for a fee, so where is the line?
But I digress and have to point out that I am only highlighting an example of a Mistress offering to take paying punters to a club rather than that Mistress taking drugs..OK!.
So, is there direct correlation between drugs and BDSM/Fetish? I think yes and it comes down to personality types. For many BDSM is a way of escape, a way to live outside the accepted normal boundaries of life and be part of a community that often puts a finger up at society. It is those character types who will, by their nature, be more explorative and in turn curious about drugs. It describes many of the people I know and to a large degree myself. I don't drink, I don't smoke but I love to get out of my head now and then. Sometimes in public, more often in private with two or three others. Oh, and I mentioned Viagra at the start of the post. Gods gift to sex and drugs! That is all I have to say on that matter!
Thursday, Pedestal comes around. To be clean or to pop a pill - that is the question that I can only answer on the night.
I have a deep, dark, secret. I love Transexuals, Shemales, Transgenders and any other description that may be applicable for the "third" sex. Especially the very few that are also dominant (of which there are very few unfortunately). But, on the rare occasion I get to meet a TS Mistress, the power play, the whole dynamic is one that I often struggle to come to terms with and understand.
I have, I want to be clear, no desire at all to submit to a Master. There is not a bone in my body that wants that. But, confronted by a TS Mistress, it is a whole different situation. The scene that unfolds is often highly sexual and at the same time, I am able to completely hand over all control to the Mistress. I know that I am not alone in this and the few Pro TS Mistresses I have met at parties and clubs all seem to charge a huge premium over the female counterparts, such is the demand for their services. I am lucky in that I am friends with a lot of the sex-worker community in London and have not yet had to pay for a session with a TS Mistress. Would I in the future? I cannot answer that but I know that the times I do play, they are some of the most interesting sessions I have had.
If you are into skinny teenage girls in rubber dresses, I am not the Domme for you. If you like mature, sexually attractive, confident and assertive women, then we may well get along well.Are either correct or is one more correct than the other? Is there a right and a wrong and if there is will it ever change the way most people think of a dominatrix other than dressed as above? The caricature of a Miss Whiplash, standing legs apart, whip in hand, booted and tightly corsetted will always be there, due in part to the mainstream and tabloid press perpetuating that image. But, there will always be those who dress that way because they want to and feel no pressure when they do so.
I do not dress up in rubber, leather or PVC garments in my Domination sessions and make no apologies for it. It is not that I can’t be bothered to make the effort. It is simply that I don’t like those clothes. They don’t suit me and wearing them detracts from my pleasure. Those clothes reflect a fetish (which in my case does not exist) and bears no relation to my desire and capacity to dominate men.
During sessions I wear ‘normal’ clothes. Typically longish skirts, blouses which show off my voluptuous figure and shoes of normal height and style.
