Don’t Panic!! It’s only a small crisis I hope.

I was out last night, into the wee hours of this morning (well actually until 8.30am) at a house party. But of course this was more than that, with everyone in the house into fetish and BDSM. There was a huge range of people there.. aged from 22 to 60 and with experience in the scene from 40 years to 40 days. So all in all, a good crowd of people who mostly knew each other or were soon chatting like old friends.

As one does, I started to chat, albeit quite late on in the party, to someone who had been “on the scene” (I seriously dislike that phrase but there you go, it is what people say) for 25 years or so (and whilst this person is very well known, I don’t have his permission to use his name so I won’t). We had been to the same clubs back in the mid ‘80’s – Der Putsch, Maitresse etc. and knew a lot of the same people. But we also found we both are struggling with a lot of the clubs and the way  it is at the moment especially of course when we look back at what it was like.

And this is the point. There is a crisis of sorts in the fetish club world. I should add that this may only be applicable to London as the vast majority of my experience comes from the London clubs.

Clubs are finding it harder to get venues, club owners are more and more concerned that the activities that take place in the club do not fall foul of the law and newcomers to the scene are seemingly morally prurient against activities that older clubbers would have considered totally normal not so many years back as they seem more about the fetish than the BDSM.

Let’s be clear here as I develop my thoughts. I do not dress in latex to be seen. I dress in latex because I love it and would consider it to a fetish that gives me an arousal in sexual terms. So, for me to go to a fetish club, it is not so much because I want to pose and preen but rather because I go with friends and we (less and less it seems) play to a level that we like and feel comfortable with. Clearly that is a lot harder and more severe than many others who perhaps have not been playing for so long or see it more as a sexual tease. To add some context to this, a story was told to me recently of an experienced couple going to a club and on entering the play room saw three very attractive girls, dressed in very fashionable latex sitting on the cross situated in the play room. On being asked to move and then watching the couple play, comments of “that’s disgusting” were heard from the girls concerned when the woman started to whip the guy, this being part of what they are really into. The consensus of thought from those discussing this was what did the girls think the club was about? But that one incident is not a solitary event and I have other similar occurrences from other clubs in recent times.

Even at clubs where play is encouraged, such as Pedestal and Subversion, there are more and more limits being imposed in order for the owner to keep their licence. No blood, no penetration, no genitalia exposed, no fluids, no sex, no fun! Maybe I miss the old clubs such as Smack, Submission and others. Or maybe I am just a dinosaur, I don’t know. I do know that the mix of people in clubs has changed with more clubs being about being seen rather than playing. The Gay scene is still pretty full on, I will say. But, whilst I have no issue going to gay fetish clubs, I sort of like the female element. And the TV/TS club scene has changed a lot. Gone are the sleazy nights at Stunners, Studio 11 etc. for a lot of the same reasons. Owners need to show a level of safety and adherence to the law when running club nights and fetish/BDSM clubs often step outside that. 

So what is the answer. If clubs are no longer really offering what was once out there how do is it overcome. What, if any, are the alternatives as for many of us we have stopped going to clubs as often as we used to or at all. I don’t have it but what I have seen is an increase in the number of private parties where we can indulge our hedonism to the max. Maybe Fetish and BDSM clubs will become one of the other with the BDSM moving back underground in the same way it was in the ‘80’s. I don’t know but one this is for sure. Those of us who love to play and play hard will always be around and we will always be comfortable doing what we do regardless of those who go to see and be seen.

Pedestal.. on a Friday! Whatever next.

So, Pedestal has moved to a Friday. It’s just a day you may think but it will, I suspect, change the dynamic of the club (OK, this was actually suggested by someone I respect huge amounts).

Why You ask (or at leas I hope you are) will the dynamic be changed? Well, Pedestal has, for a long time now, been on a Thursday night even though, many years ago, it was actually on a Saturday. And, being on a Friday it means that people, generally, do not have to go to work the next day. The nature of the person who goes will change. Many, I am sure, of those who go to Pedestal do so because they are staying in London, on business etc. It gives them the chance to experience a very friendly Femme Domme club and still go to work the next day. By moving it to a Friday, You lose that. You suddenly become more viable for a lot of the regular London clubbers. You also start to conflict with other clubs that may also run on a Friday and of course, those Saturday clubs. Will you want to go to a club Friday and Saturday (of course you all cry out).

All that said, I am of course going to go. I shall once again be with Mistress and that in itself is a massive treat as we have not been out together for a long time. It is almost like going to Smack, back in the day. Friday nights were the best night and the after parties into the hours of Saturday morning just topped it off.

I’ll let you know how it goes.

How much more mainstream can it get??

Today, reading the online edition of The Sun I realised that my fetish clubbing days could be over! For those that do not know her, or are unaware of her, in the UK we blessed (irony) with having one of the most publicity seeking individuals ever born who goes by the name of Katie Price, AKA Jordan whose life is regularly lived through the tabloids and commercial TV (and for the sum of £2 a month you can follow her on her website!!)

Recently it seems she went to a Masked Ball for Halloween in Hampton Court, the Bloodlust Ball, and from there onto Torture Garden where I had the misfortune to see her and her merry band arrive in a way that only meant she was there to have her picture taken and get some media inches.

Now Torture Garden is OK. Not my favourite club as it has always been more about being seen to be there than BDSM so I probably only go a couple of times a year. But now, I read this and it seems that Miss Price may well be attending TG every month.

Fortunately Jordan, Katie Price, call her what you will, is going to be out of the country for awhile appearing on I'm A (micro)Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here (IACGMOOH), the show that tries to resurrect failed showbiz careers, and therefore will not be attending TG for a few months. But what happens when she comes back? Can we expect to see her and her entourage at other London clubs? Will Pedestal suddenly become her regular haunt? What about Club Rub or Subversion? It is the duty of the owners of these clubs to ban her and I hope they do. The majority of clubbers do not want her there, of that I am sure and I am confident she would be totally ignored by most people if she were to turn up.

When publicity hounds such as this start to attend clubs you know it is over. They have lost their mystique and almost their cachet. Maybe it is time to hang up the chaps and just indulge in private. Time will tell and I suspect that actually, we will never see her again. Who knows.

Going out

Went to a new “old” club last night. New in that the venue has changed, old because it is a club that has been going for some time in various guises. Once again it gave me the excuse to dress up in my favourite fetish material, latex and going in the knowledge that I am going to get a really good thrashing across my back with some new floggers. This I know because I have been told by a friend who is a well regard Mistress that she intends to do so!

I could go on about the club, but to be honest, clubs are pretty much like each other. Usual crowd, some new faces and lots of old ones. Lots of people make the effort to dress up in fetish attire and provide plenty of eye-candy for those who are at a club for the first time. I suppose I should not be surprised after so many years of going to clubs, but still am, at the number of people who just gawp when they see someone dressed in an overtly sexual way. Still, I am sure I was also like that many years ago as well.

It was not a busy night but enough people to make a good evening. As promised, I was thrashed. Hard, long, repeatedly. I was in and out of that special place many call subspace and was on a buzz for a long time afterwards. Who needs chemicals when I get that feeling from something I love.

But the highlight for me was meeting one of favourite people in the London fetish scene and being asked to play. For the next hour, I was who I truly want to be – submissive, masochistic and fetishistic. Hooded, tied, and tortured on my nipples and genitals. If I did not know better, I would say I am in love!

Getting home later, whilst tired, I cannot sleep as I replay the events of last night. It was how it used to be with Mistress and how I wish it still were.

Slipping away

One day, you suddenly wake up and bang.. you find yourself missing something very important in you life.

For the past few weeks, I have found myself thus. Not really knowing what it was, unable to put a finger on what it was. Then I realised. It is contact. Contact with the Person who gives a lot of my life meaning. But of course, that is the easy part, realising what is missing. The hard part is understanding why it is missing, why have I have not been able to keep in contact as I should. That takes longer, demands deeper thought and diving deeper into yourself. To admit that the reason there has been no contact is to admit that something has occurred and the fault lies with me. It is always up to me, rightly so, to keep contact with Mistress. As Her slave, I should never have anything that I cannot discuss with Mistress. But of course, we are just human and some things I find hard to discuss with even myself. So we have somewhere like this where I can put my thoughts and feelings down freely.

For the first time in a long time I find myself wanting to session, in a professional way, with Mistress. This is a feeling that over recent weeks has become stronger and stronger. Time is the biggest barrier of course, but I will deal with that. To submit to the flogger, the whip and of course show my servitude in any way Mistress desires is now uppermost in my mind, but even that brings a sense of guilt as part of me has forgotten what it is like to session properly and there is a hesitation, even a fear to do so. Totally irrational of course, just my own internal issues and hang-ups.

I do feel at times very mixed up. I know, or at least I hope, that I could have a lot more time with Mistress if I were able. But my other life, my real life so to speak, is very demanding at the moment (excuses I know but also reality). I want to go out to more clubs and parties as there is not shortage of invites. But this I also know will never happen unless I make changes in my life that will affect to many others and I am I honest I cannot really ever see happening.

I would say I am not usually down-beat and depressed but today is one of those days. Just a winging sub I am sure you say. Just the facts of life I say.

One hours extra fun

The clocks change on Sunday morning at 2am when it becomes, as if magic, 1am!

I will be at Club Smack so that should mean an extra hour or debauchery and fun to be had. Oh what fun.

Sex, and Drugs and BDSM

Eventually, I knew I would broach this topic as it seems it is one that is brushed under the carpet and never really talked about but here goes.

Firstly, I have to come clean and say that I am not totally innocent in all of this. I have taken more drugs that I can honestly remember over the years. E, Coke, MDMA, Ketamine, Amyl and very occasionally speed were the drugs of choice. Nowadays, Viagra is in the mix as well. So, why is there such a preponderance of drug usage in the fetish and BDSM scene. Of course, I can only talk about London, but it may well be the same in ever major city that has an active scene. I can remember great times in Amsterdam and Berlin where there was huge obvious drug taking, whilst in London, it seems to be slightly more circumspect with lavatories and dark corners the place of choice. From my own experience, I know that when I have taken a pill or two, I play harder and longer and end up with a lot more bruises! But the intensity of feeling, the euphoria of the moment that comes is addictive (which of course is the point of many drugs) and one that I do miss. As you may have notices, I have not mentioned Pot, Weed, Cannabis etc. Why? Well I have never smoked and therefore have never really wanted to take any of these, hence not having any knowledge of what they can do first-hand.

Of course, what makes me laugh really loudly is when I see ad's from Pro-Dommes who say they will only session with those who are drug free and yet, when I see them out and about at clubs and parties are usually totally wankered on drugs themselves! Of course, many will say this is not hypocritical, at they are putting the safety of the paying punter first. But I also see them play in clubs, so whose safety are thy putting first then? And please don't tell me that these are not paying punters, as there are many Mistress who offer to take a client to a club for a fee, so where is the line?

But I digress and have to point out that I am only highlighting an example of a Mistress offering to take paying punters to a club rather than that Mistress taking drugs..OK!.

So, is there direct correlation between drugs and BDSM/Fetish? I think yes and it comes down to personality types. For many BDSM is a way of escape, a way to live outside the accepted normal boundaries of life and be part of a community that often puts a finger up at society. It is those character types who will, by their nature, be more explorative and in turn curious about drugs. It describes many of the people I know and to a large degree myself. I don't drink, I don't smoke but I love to get out of my head now and then. Sometimes in public, more often in private with two or three others. Oh, and I mentioned Viagra at the start of the post. Gods gift to sex and drugs! That is all I have to say on that matter!

Thursday, Pedestal comes around. To be clean or to pop a pill - that is the question that I can only answer on the night.

How can you serve me?

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Its a war out there .. Lifestyle-v-Pro-Domme

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The young grow up

How weird is this..

I am a huge fan of social networks such as Facebook and Myspace. I am able to use one each for my normal "vanilla" life and the other for the part of my life that the majority would not understand. And in any event, do I want people I work with seeing that I leap around in latex in fetish clubs!

Back to the point I am making. Cruising through some pictures on a friends Myspace page, I came across a photographers name that was really familiar. Looking at her website (the photographers) she seemed to go to a lot of the same clubs as me, Torture Garden, Club Rub etc. Then it clicked that I used to work with her Dad many years ago and remembered her from when she was about 6 or 7! We had a few exchanges on Myspace to confirm that I was right, which I was, but of course agreed that it was probably best her dad did not know about this as he would probably not understand. But of course, you never know!

I am still musing over whether to post the website of the photographer as she is very good. Still not sure though so probably ask her and you will see the artist yourself.