Everything stops for tea!

Afternoon tea. So quintessentially English. The very embodiment of a refined afternoon spent sipping tea, eating delicate sandwiches and cake (lots of cake!!).

But if you then add into the mix a group of like minded Dominant females, the whole afternoon takes on a very different aspect.

Let me put some context around this. If you read my last post, then You'll know i am under the care and ownership of a Mistress i have now known for 15 months. This has not been a trivial decision from either party and i have had to earn this right. But i digress. Mistress is keen to show me other aspects of Her life and not have a D/s relationship that is confined only to the walls of a dungeon or the inside of a fetish club. As part of this, i was told several weeks ago that i was to drive Mistress to a tea-party held at a friends of Hers and would be expected to assist as necessary. I'm not really sure who suggested it, but it ended up be in chauffeur mode, with chauffeurs uniform meeting Mistress at the train station and taking Her to the party, some 50 miles away. Full chauffeur etiquette had to be maintained i.e. me wearing chauffeur cap, brown leather gloves etc. and driving in a way that did not upset my passenger by speeding, going over bumps, gesticulating to other drivers, using my horn. So far so good and to be honest, i quite enjoyed that even if i was conscious of wearing a chauffeurs cap driving down the motorway.

But to the party. Once in, it was clear that there was some chaos still in place but i soon found the one job i am usually good at, pouring the drinks whilst i let the others around me try to sort out the table and make the tea happen. As the afternoon wore on, more drink was consumed and it's fair to say, things were never going to end well for myself and the other submissives in attendance.

The previous day, i had been asked to bring with me three things that would "impress" Mistress. Three things that could potentially be used on me to satisfy any sadistic cravings She may have. So, i selected medical staples (Mistresses favourite), needles and a couple of particularly harsh floggers. The staples were given to the host as She also likes to use these and did so on a young sissy who having claimed to be hardcore, turned out to have never experienced this. And of course, lucky me.. i got have the needles used on me, something Mistress has only done once before but from the gleam in the eyes of the other ladies it was clear they all wanted to join in and so, i found myself in the playroom stripped to my red silk pants, in chastity.. (oh. Did i fail to mention that i was locked up at a party last week and have endured, so far, a week of being locked up, once again putting my cock through unnecessary torment..) having needles pushed through sensitive parts of my body. Whilst this was being done a few things were said, that made me think. The comment "he makes it look so easy" did strike me as something that i could take many different ways. As i was reminded, with control of breathing, you can take a lot of pain and this was no different. i know what to expect, i know what it's going to feel like when a needle is pushed through my nipple that i can deal with it. But what made me smile (inside only i will add) was a comment about piercing my balls. The words "just because the house is locked up, doesn't mean we can't abuse the neighbours" was one of the funniest things i have heard for a long time. It will be some time before i forget that. Anway, needles were used, removed and i cleaned up before watching a naming ceremony that took the form of each Mistress inflicting 15 strokes of Her choice (one for each letter of the new name) and making the slave receing each blow in a different way. For oh so many reasons i cannot say more.

The evening ended with me finally signing a contract of my submission to Mistress, witnessed by the other Mistresses in attendance. So that's it. It's official. I'm a slave who has rules to live by and there is no leaving now.

This was clearly no ordinary tea-party. Rather, it was a wonderful group of Mistresses who all enjoy each others company playing in private with their personal slaves. i admit to feeling anxious and nervous before i attended this as i was aware that i was representing Mistress and my behaviour would reflect on Her. Maybe i was too anxious as really, i just needed to be myself , which i did become fairly soon into the afternoon. i knew one of the other slaves and we get on well and that helped although our talking did lead to a small telling off. But that aside, it's clear that this sort of event is important to Mistress and that i am able to be part of that side of Her life. So, it's not all just being whipped and flogged in a dungeon (as much as i love that) as i am seeing. For me, this just becomes something i have wanted, perhaps without realising it and at the moment, i happy to go along and where things go.

A Letter to My Cock

Dear cock

We have been together now for some time and I thought it about time I wrote to you as I want to make sure we have no unresolved issues going forward.

Over the years you have served me well, never complaining and most of the time doing as I ask - often beyond the call of duty. But I have to confess I have not treated you well. When I look back and think what I have put you through I can only say sorry.

Where do I start.. there seems to be so much. The needles - you never asked to have 100 needles put into you but I just went ahead and had it done. It hurt me so I can only imagine how much it must have hurt you.. and the blood! It seemed to run for ages when they were eventually removed. But of course, this was not a one off thing.. oh no. I've repeatedly subjected you to this sort of thing including several memorable times with a needle straight through the head. I'm sorry.

The electrocution is another recurring thing. Time and time again, including only yesterday, I have allowed others to put electrodes onto you and just watch you squirm and wriggle as the current flows through. Watching you pulse and dance seems to amuse others whilst I writhe in a mixture of pain and pleasure. But I never asked if you were happy with this so.. I'm sorry.

What about the beatings you have received! Many times you have been whipped, spanked, paddled. All in the name of me wanting to please another but never thinking about you. The pegs, the clamps, the things that bite into the flesh and mark you for weeks afterwards, bruising you and cutting into the skin. You never asked for any of this but you accepted it, never seeming to complain and often, as in the case with hot wax, seeming to actually enjoy it as you rose to the occasion even when covered in the stuff.

So much more comes to mind.. I almost feel ashamed. Did you ever ask for medical sounds to be dropped down inside you? How many times have you had a catheter inserted, just because I wanted to satisfy a primal urge to have pleasure. Once again, all I can say is sorry.

But now, to the most recent suffering I have inflicted upon you. On a whim and in no small part led by you, I allowed you to be locked up in a cage for 9 days, unable to escape, unable to stretch out, unable to grow as you wanted. I willingly allowed another to take control of you and make you suffer through the night as you responded to my inner thoughts and desires. For this, I am truly sorry. But, the worse thing about this is that I cannot say it won't happen again. None of it has come to an end. I am sure that I will cause you more pain, more suffering, more indignity over the coming months and years.

But of course, look at the positive. You've had a lot of fun, been allowed to give a lot of people pleasure of the years and I do of course thank-you for being so lovely. You're nice and straight, thick, long and look good with the foreskin still in intact. And of course, you do perform when I ask you to. Up you come, do your stuff and get the pleasure and release you love so much.

All in all, we have a pretty good time together I think and whilst I'm pretty sure that the pleasure does not outweigh the pain I have put you through, I want to say thank-you and how much I appreciate you being there for me. Hopefully we have a good few years of fun to come still.

subray xxx

A new head fuck

So, it has been awhile since I have written anything. In part there is a general malaise about me that is very work related and the desire to write has not been there. Also, Twitter has been, in a way, replacing my blog.

But, there are things that happen that can only really be fully written down in a blog as Twitter does of course have it’s limitations.

So, what’s new. Well, I went to Pedestal the other week with Mistress. It was pretty average if I am honest and had an interesting run in with a Dungeon Nazi who pointed out that I am not allowed to talk in the Goddess room unless I am being spoken to. When I replied I was told not to speak. Pointing out the stupidity of this rule did not endure me to her but so what. I hate to say but I was into this whole scene before she was born and occasionally forget some stupid rules.

Pedestal was also close to my birthday and in part it was a night out for that as well. I had been promised a very special present when we got back after the club and of course, it was this I wanted more than anything, almost like a kid in a candy store.

When we got back, a few drinks later, i was told to strip and lay over the chair. Needles were used to create a very nice bird shape on the back. But needles are not new to me. The music was playing hard trance and then the new toy, the medical stapler came out. This was a new buzz and to have 10 staples down the stomach, then laced up and as i breath in, they are pulled tighter together just sent me into the biggest endorphin rush i have had for years. The combination of the needles, the music, Mistresses soothing voice and the staples was just a complete head fuck and all i knew was that i was floating in a sea of pain that was totally delicious. A masochists dream.

Sadly, like all good things, it came to an end and as i came down i could feel the staples quite clearly. But what a rush. Who says you cannot teach old dogs new tricks!

Another early to bed.. early the next morning that is.

Fetish/BDSM parties, as others in the BDSM blogosphere have commented, are great and who am I to disagree! Having just got home, still on a bit of an endorphic rush and unable to sleep I wanted to put down some words.

I am, I have to say, fortunate. Now in my mid forties, I have been involved in some shape or form in this lifestyle since I was 18, so coming up to thirty years. In that time I have made some great friends and it was at one of those friends that held a party last night. So, bag of toys and some bits of fetish wear in hand I turned up around 11pm and found myself in a pretty good scene with people I knew and some new faces. Now, I am, as I have alluded in my previous post, in a strange sort of, but not totally, collared relationship with someone. Trying to explain that relationship is not easy but then again, should I have to explain it as it works for the people concerned. She knew I was going to the party and I had Her permission to play if I wanted to but within some limits that She set - in this case I was not allowed to have any needle play, one of my favourite sensations. What I did not know, was that one of Her friends, who I also know has been asked by Her to not only keep an eye out for me to make sure I did not misbehave but also to try to get me to indulge in some needle play. Ok, I am a man. I am weak. My brain is connected to my cock. The needles looked great, a fan shape across my shoulders but the damning evidence is there in the pictures that were taken! I shall, not doubt, discover the consequence of my actions later but at that moment, as the last needle went in, I was in that other place that pain sluts love to be and nothing else existed. That floaty, distant sensation, when all around you vanishes except the bond between you and the instigator of your hurt. All you want is to swim in the feeling and for it to never end.

I was made to stay on my knees for about an hour, whilst others could look at the handiwork which of course I loved having somewhat of an exhibitionist streak in me. But of course, eventually the needles come out, I am cleaned up and then to snap me out of the reverie I was told what had occurred in respect of Her and the friend. Not much I could of course do at that juncture but inwardly I knew I had done bad and would suffer.

There is much more I want to write about but, now can actually feel tiredness coming on. One of the things I do want to put down in trying to understand why I did this but I suspect that will come when I am clear headed and fully awake.