Don’t Panic!! It’s only a small crisis I hope.

I was out last night, into the wee hours of this morning (well actually until 8.30am) at a house party. But of course this was more than that, with everyone in the house into fetish and BDSM. There was a huge range of people there.. aged from 22 to 60 and with experience in the scene from 40 years to 40 days. So all in all, a good crowd of people who mostly knew each other or were soon chatting like old friends.

As one does, I started to chat, albeit quite late on in the party, to someone who had been “on the scene” (I seriously dislike that phrase but there you go, it is what people say) for 25 years or so (and whilst this person is very well known, I don’t have his permission to use his name so I won’t). We had been to the same clubs back in the mid ‘80’s – Der Putsch, Maitresse etc. and knew a lot of the same people. But we also found we both are struggling with a lot of the clubs and the way  it is at the moment especially of course when we look back at what it was like.

And this is the point. There is a crisis of sorts in the fetish club world. I should add that this may only be applicable to London as the vast majority of my experience comes from the London clubs.

Clubs are finding it harder to get venues, club owners are more and more concerned that the activities that take place in the club do not fall foul of the law and newcomers to the scene are seemingly morally prurient against activities that older clubbers would have considered totally normal not so many years back as they seem more about the fetish than the BDSM.

Let’s be clear here as I develop my thoughts. I do not dress in latex to be seen. I dress in latex because I love it and would consider it to a fetish that gives me an arousal in sexual terms. So, for me to go to a fetish club, it is not so much because I want to pose and preen but rather because I go with friends and we (less and less it seems) play to a level that we like and feel comfortable with. Clearly that is a lot harder and more severe than many others who perhaps have not been playing for so long or see it more as a sexual tease. To add some context to this, a story was told to me recently of an experienced couple going to a club and on entering the play room saw three very attractive girls, dressed in very fashionable latex sitting on the cross situated in the play room. On being asked to move and then watching the couple play, comments of “that’s disgusting” were heard from the girls concerned when the woman started to whip the guy, this being part of what they are really into. The consensus of thought from those discussing this was what did the girls think the club was about? But that one incident is not a solitary event and I have other similar occurrences from other clubs in recent times.

Even at clubs where play is encouraged, such as Pedestal and Subversion, there are more and more limits being imposed in order for the owner to keep their licence. No blood, no penetration, no genitalia exposed, no fluids, no sex, no fun! Maybe I miss the old clubs such as Smack, Submission and others. Or maybe I am just a dinosaur, I don’t know. I do know that the mix of people in clubs has changed with more clubs being about being seen rather than playing. The Gay scene is still pretty full on, I will say. But, whilst I have no issue going to gay fetish clubs, I sort of like the female element. And the TV/TS club scene has changed a lot. Gone are the sleazy nights at Stunners, Studio 11 etc. for a lot of the same reasons. Owners need to show a level of safety and adherence to the law when running club nights and fetish/BDSM clubs often step outside that. 

So what is the answer. If clubs are no longer really offering what was once out there how do is it overcome. What, if any, are the alternatives as for many of us we have stopped going to clubs as often as we used to or at all. I don’t have it but what I have seen is an increase in the number of private parties where we can indulge our hedonism to the max. Maybe Fetish and BDSM clubs will become one of the other with the BDSM moving back underground in the same way it was in the ‘80’s. I don’t know but one this is for sure. Those of us who love to play and play hard will always be around and we will always be comfortable doing what we do regardless of those who go to see and be seen.