Changes

Life seems to have taken a lot of different turns over the last 5 months or so. One the one hand, I am trying to open up to my partner and show her the BDSM side of my life. On the other, i still lead this secret life away from her. I still post on UKM, chat on IRC etc. It's a way, to me, of retaining some sanity. My life, for over 25 years, has had elements of BDSM as part of it and i now realise that of course i cannot just walk away from it. It is as much as part of me today as it was 20 years ago. It is who i am in many respects and it dictates a lot of the decisions i make.



i find myself thinking about Mistress Diva more and more. Maybe its because i am not part of Her "stable" in a way i almost was is doing this. But i know that the form of submission i had is one that found made the most sense. It was, whilst formalised and ritualised, also the most simple. There were no complications. She is the Mistress, i am the slave. Simple. The thought of sessioning is one that feels me with some trepidation at the moment. As much as i want to, i am for the first time ever, unsure how to approach. The desire to submit is as ever there. But how do i approach Mistress Diva. Of course i know how but my procrastination surprises me. Do i fear rejection? Or have i become to friendly with Mistress Diva and the dynamics of the relationship changed so much that.