Finding a balance

This is not the way i wanted it to be. For the first time ever i had found a Mistress i wanted to serve exclusively. But i never realised how hard it would be. For the last two weeks, i realise i have hidden away unable to confront issues with myself. My work is changing, i am being asked to spend a lot of time away. This creates conflict at home and means i do not get to spend time with Mistress Diva. But then i act in a childish way, running away from the problems rather than dealing with them the way i should. A Mistress/sub relationship has to be about communication and it's something i have not been able to do recently. But suddenly i realise that if i don't confront it, then i never will and i will drift away again. This is not the way i want it to be. i will call Mistress Diva, i will face my concerns and worries. i have to talk to Mistress Diva and work out where things are going wrong and what can be done to mend them.



i feel ashamed that i am not the person i want to be and certainly, in my own mind, not acting the way i should to-wards Mistress Diva. And it's this guilt that is stopping me from dealing with it. But that will change tomorrow. i promise.