Pay and Play - Different Experiences

So, this month, I've been a busy bee. It’s rare for me to go to a play and pay party. I used to go to them often but over recent years, my play has become a private thing and I was lucky to have someone who liked to play at the same intensity as me and had the same sort of interests as well. But, recently we have not really found time to meet up – we both have jobs that involve working away – and as such I've not really been able to satisfy the never-ending urge for pain and pleasure. So the opportunity came up to go to a couple of pay and play events and I thought why not. One was focussed purely on strap-on play and the other a more general party. Aside from the themes, they could not have been more different.

When you hold an event such as this and the males pay, no an inconsiderable amount, to attend there is in my mind a reasonable expectation that the Dommes attending will play with, whilst not all, at least some of the guys there. At one party this was clearly the case. There was lots of participation, no-one was really left wanting more and everyone was happy and I would happily go to another of their events. I left sore and happy. All this in a small dungeon space, maybe 12'x12' but with all you could want for such an event.

The other.. well it was a strange event. Firstly it was in a huge space and one of the best equipped in terms of BDSM furniture that I have seen for awhile. Medical room, large dungeon type space, great seated area, bar.. it had all you could want.  But what made it strange was the lack of participation or what seemed to be the case. At least one of the Mistresses there was only interested in playing with her sub/partner she arrived with. That was not really much of a surprise as they are often out on the club scene and he only ever plays with Her (or as most people think, only allows Her to play with him) and oh the stories I could tell about them! Some of the other Mistresses there seemed happy to just sit around at the bar and not really take part at all, which rather defeats the object of going I suspect whilst others played with subs they knew.

I should add that not all were like that. Several joined in with gusto, doing multiple scenes with various subs (myself included) and clearly getting into the spirit of the event. Ultimately it could be that it was the fault of the sub guys there. In my experience, you need to be a little bit forward and ask to play as it usually won’t be forthcoming and whilst you may be shy, being so does usually mean you won't get to play. It also helped perhaps that I came loaded with weapons (a good masochist should always come prepared and I was that, with my bag of toys and tools of torture) and some of these were used on me. Again, I left sort and happy and have the marks to remind me of the party several days later.

Let me say now that it’s not a criticism of the event itself. I’ll probably go the next one as I had fun, met up with some old friends and made some new ones. But it’s more a criticism of the attendees and what should be expected. Maybe some ground rules need to be laid out over and above the usual “no means no” sort of thing and then maybe the event will be more inclusive and those there who had no play will get to have fun as well, as without the guys, there is no pay.