Three months in..

Well, here we are. It's 2015 already and I'm as excited as I've ever been about upcoming events in my life.

First some updates. Just over a year ago, November 2013, I was at a fetish party held by a good friend. Lot's of people I knew, as ever, but also a lot of new faces. Seems that it had turned into a bit of an after party for Pedestal and quite a few people had come from that. In particular, one person, a Mistress as it happens, stood out with a certain calmness, a sense of who She really was, amongst the usual drunk, stoned and generally fucked up crowd that gathered at these particular parties.

So of course, billy brave here had to talk to this Mistress whom he'd never seen before. And I'll say now, so glad I did. That conversation just intrigued me. We seemed to share a common view on fetish and BDSM, knew a lot of the same people but had just not really encountered each other before. From that meeting, we had a few chats over social media, then informally met up at Pedestal, another party, went out to some other vanilla events and in October last year, I finally gave my submission to Mistress and this was formally accepted by Her.

And what a whirlwind the last 3 months have been! I have truly rediscovered my passion for BDSM, my love of fetish and my desire to be hurt. Best of all though is that Mistress shares all my passions and then some. For the first time in just so many years, I know this is not a game. The is very real and my submission goes beyond just a session every now and then. My life is becoming intertwined with Hers, my needs are subjugated to Hers, i find myself thinking of how i can make Her life easier.

And here we are, at the three month point and we meet this weekend. There has been an implied, but not defined, probation period for the past three months. I have joked that we have both been on probation but it's also been made clear that I'm not allowed to quit! This is a serious lifestyle commitment that i have to make work alongside my normal life. And I'll be honest, there are times when it's a challenge to accommodate my work life and my submission together. I have always traveled for my job and whilst this has eased back in the last year, the indications are that it will increase over the next 12-18 months. i won't always be around at the weekends or other times i'm required. But i try to make to work and so far seem to be able to do so.

All that aside, i will confess to being happier than i have been for a long time. Once again my body regularly carries the marks of being beaten, of having needles puncture my flesh or (Mistresses favourite) staples punched into my body and of course, being the masochist i am, i just crave more or the same. But it's also a feeling of trust when i am with Mistress that i have only really felt a few times in my life. I trust Her to know when i am at my limit, to know when i can be pushed further and to take me there. i am used as Mistress pleases, when She pleases and i could want for nothing more, well.. actually i just want more.

i've no idea what the next three months will be like, More of the same of no doubt, Saying that, no two encounters with Mistress have been the same. Each time brings its own unique intensity and passion. But i'm sure that i will be taken deeper into submitting to Mistress and my life will continue to change and evolve as i submit.