Lights, camera, scream!

Had a message today from friend who happens to run one of the biggest BDSM/Femdom website's in the world asking me if I want to do some filming week after next at Ess & Emm. Of course, I would have been rude to say no, so of course I do! What's not to want?? I get to spend the whole day at one of the best play-spaces in the UK (to which I have yet to go to) and spend the day with two stunning Mistresses who will hurt me and make me suffer and it all goes on film! Is this heaven? And here is the best part.. I get paid for it as well! Does this make me a pro-sub? Sadly the answer is no but it does make me question some of my own morals.

Firstly, is this really play or is it work? Having done some work other sites in the past, I know the day tends to be long, with lots of sitting around waiting and then you have to be able to get into the scene very quickly with little build-up. I will be working with two Mistresses that I have never met before and so have to take it on trust that they are safe etc. and that the few limits I have will be adhered to. Secondly, of course,I need to speak to Mistress and ensure She is happy. There is no reason why She would say no but etiquette demands that I let Her know of such things. And finally, am I doing it for the right reasons. What, after all are the right reasons? Deep down, I have a massive exhibitionist streak and this panders to it in a massive way. The "session" will last for ever in that I can watch it whenever I wish and can relieve the feelings with each viewing. Others will see it and may well comment, again pandering to my own feelings.

All in all, it hits so many buttons that I am just amazed more subs just do not appear in films. But of course, I do know the reason. BDSM is taboo and to show your face in a BDSM film may risk exposure. But then, does it not run that if someone is watching a BDSM film and recognises me, they only reason they are likely to watching such a film is because they themselves are into the whole thing as well? Hence, I don't wear a hood when doing such things. It is almost as if I want to be recognised and see what happens if I am. Just another pandering to my bizarre set of emotions.