She is always there

In my mind, I am not owned by Her. But of course, the is just my trying to delude myself and thinking that there is something better over the fence. Of course, I know, from experience that there is nothing that comes close to the relationship I have wiht Mistress.

After we went through a very formal collaring ceremony some time ago now and since then the dynamic of our relationship has changed to such an extent that too most people involved in BDSM, it bears no semblance to an atypical BDSM relationship. I am allowed out to play at clubs myself, I am allowed to go to parties myself and all in all, I am given a very long piece of rope to play on. What is really funny though is the so many people assume we are a couple. I suppose in many ways we are but would be best described as a non-sexual platonic Mistress/slave couple.

But of course, the reality is that the rope is always there and always connected to me. When She is away, I feel a huge sense of emptiness knowing that I cannot just pick up the phone, or ping Her on IM to chat. We have, over the last 5 years, become close friends and confidants to each other whilst still maintaining the essential elements of respect, trust and, on my part, submission. I adore all that there is about Her and love Her in a way that I struggle to describe. When I submit to Her, standing there willingly to be hurt, flogged, punished, I do so because I want for nothing else at that moment.

No matter what though, I am always there for Her and will always be Her collared slave. It is that sense of feeling, the sense of belonging that I craved for so long and only found out, over time, how hard it was to live up to the expectation and dream. But of course, BDSM is, amongst many things, about trust and finding out about each other and we are now at a place that works for us and that is probably the most important thing - it is about us. Do we care what others may say? Or course not. Why should we. When we go out to clubs or parties together, I am there for Her. The motto "To protect and Serve" could almost have been written to describe the way I feel when we are out. I feel honoured to be with Her, to be known as Her slave and to wear Her collar.

Toys for couples!

A friend pointed me to this link.. Naughty Travel Kit

Apparently it is fun-packed and is targeted at the kinky traveller! Well, personally, it does not even come close to what I would consider taking on my travels. Where are the nipple clamps, the candles, the needles, the flogger? A blind-fold, a feather and a warming massage oil does not really create a sense of kinky in my mind. But then perhaps I am just to jaded and to far up the kinky scale for that kit.

BDSM Haiku

From MVX

I hit him
with a whip.
He said:
OUCH

A slight edit..done with respect.

I hit him harder

with a whip

He cry's out loud

Pain and Pleasure

It's the weekend

And with the weekend comes the time to have fun. It has been awhile since I have been out and about to the various fetish clubs in London, but this weekend I am going to make the effort, get myself together and make it to Club Smack and with an almost guaranteed certainty over to Stunners for a sleazy Sunday.

Saturday may well be a shopping day, off to North London to visit the many fetish shops there, to indulge myself in some new latex or a new toy. Actually it will probably be both as I a greedy boy at times who can afford to indulge himself.

Sunday will be a day of rest and recovery. I don't drink when I go to clubs, preferring to have all my senses available. Already I am hoping certain people will be there, but of course I know that She won't be there, The One. The One I have been collared to, served, loved and submitted to so many times. She told me last night She was going away for a week and would miss out but I will be allowed to take Her to Pedestal in a few weeks, where I will be allowed to have my back flogged so hard it bleeds, where I will stand against the cross and accept the hurt and pain without question or hesitation because She knows that I will take more from Her than anyone else who may beat me.

I like leather/latex.. so what?

Am I wrong in saying that I have no objection to the association of fetish wear and a Mistress? Or, as some are saying, I have been poisoned by a male dominated pornography industry that seeks to stereotype the fetishistic men have of a dominatrix?
Is this image wrong? Is the person in the image just kowtowing to the majority, i.e male submissive's who expect her to look like this? Is there a chance that she may actually like dressing like this from time to time?

IMAGE REMOVED DUE TO NEW GOOGLE GUIDELINES

with thanks to Nina Birch

Ok, so I accept that some may well say that she has to dress like that because she is a pro-domme blah blah blah. But I am fortunate in that I know the person in the picture well and happen to know she likes dressing in latex. So who is she pleasing? Herself or her intended audience?
It may be that all Mistresses should be like one I know who describes herself thus:

If you are into skinny teenage girls in rubber dresses, I am not the Domme for you. If you like mature, sexually attractive, confident and assertive women, then we may well get along well.
I do not dress up in rubber, leather or PVC garments in my Domination sessions and make no apologies for it. It is not that I can’t be bothered to make the effort. It is simply that I don’t like those clothes. They don’t suit me and wearing them detracts from my pleasure. Those clothes reflect a fetish (which in my case does not exist) and bears no relation to my desire and capacity to dominate men.
During sessions I wear ‘normal’ clothes. Typically longish skirts, blouses which show off my voluptuous figure and shoes of normal height and style.

Are either correct or is one more correct than the other? Is there a right and a wrong and if there is will it ever change the way most people think of a dominatrix other than dressed as above? The caricature of a Miss Whiplash, standing legs apart, whip in hand, booted and tightly corsetted will always be there, due in part to the mainstream and tabloid press perpetuating that image. But, there will always be those who dress that way because they want to and feel no pressure when they do so.
I understand and in a huge way accept the arguments from Bitchy Jones that there should not be am expectation from anyone that this is the look to be desired. But the argument is not that simple and clean cut and never will be all the time people actually enjoy dressing up for their own pleasure as well as the pleasure of others.

At last - someone like me!

I have finally found a blog that seems to relate very much to my own feelings and desires for BDSM. By far the majority of blogs I seem to come across are about guys wanting a 24/7 relationship or they are exploring BDSM inside their marriage or (and this is the majority by far) are blogs by female submissive's of which I have zero interest. However, the power of Google Reader gave me a suggestion today to look at unspeakableaxe and hey presto, a blog by a male masochist who seems to like to play at parties, clubs etc! Having spent way to much time reading the message-boards on UK-Mistresses.com it was becoming rather depressing as I found the majority of posts and comments there just so sycophant that it was beyond belief. And when someone disagree with the swarm of resident posters there, they were soon shot down by a barrage of posts. Similarly with Informed Consent the sheer volume of posts make it impossible to follow some of the threads. So finding this blog was a big of fresh air for me.

Happiness is a girlfriend and mistress.

My most fulfilling relationship in a BDSM context was with someone who also happened to be  a Pro-Domme. For me, she was my girlfriend, lover and of course Mistress.  There was a different level of everything I had ever experienced before in terms of my submission to her, the intensity of feelings towards her and, for want of a better word, the level of play. I had/have no issue with the fact that this was also her job. Why should I? Why would it be my place to question what anyone does for a living provided it has no massive legal issues? Of course, we can debate whether Domination is Prostitution at great length if you wish and I am happy to do so. What I did realise was that when I was being hurt, there was, to put it bluntly, always a feeling that it was being done safely and from someone who knew what they were doing. I am trying to avoid to use the word professional, but ultimately that is what is was. Let me be clear, there was never a feeling that it was being done by the numbers or as a service.  Far from it as I always felt a wave of love and contentment from her that I only have experienced once before. This was what she enjoyed doing and I was happy to be the recipient of the pain and punishment.

It was almost an ideal relationship on so many levels. We both liked the same thing from the same perspective such as fetish, clubs, music and from the opposite perspective i.e pain, submission etc. But like all things, it came to an end, ironically because she wanted to stop the Prodom side and divorce herself from that whole fetish scene. As a consequence, seeing as I was a huge part of that I was no longer going to be a part of her life. I will say it affected me quite hard and caused me to totally examine what I wanted from a fetish and BDSM lifestyle and whether I really did want a relationship like this again. Of course, being a guy I hid it and being British just accepted it. That's the way we often are and in hindsight it was probably the worst way I could have dealt with it. But we move on and find new things to explore and different people to have fun with and then start again.