Happiness is a girlfriend and mistress.

My most fulfilling relationship in a BDSM context was with someone who also happened to be  a Pro-Domme. For me, she was my girlfriend, lover and of course Mistress.  There was a different level of everything I had ever experienced before in terms of my submission to her, the intensity of feelings towards her and, for want of a better word, the level of play. I had/have no issue with the fact that this was also her job. Why should I? Why would it be my place to question what anyone does for a living provided it has no massive legal issues? Of course, we can debate whether Domination is Prostitution at great length if you wish and I am happy to do so. What I did realise was that when I was being hurt, there was, to put it bluntly, always a feeling that it was being done safely and from someone who knew what they were doing. I am trying to avoid to use the word professional, but ultimately that is what is was. Let me be clear, there was never a feeling that it was being done by the numbers or as a service.  Far from it as I always felt a wave of love and contentment from her that I only have experienced once before. This was what she enjoyed doing and I was happy to be the recipient of the pain and punishment.

It was almost an ideal relationship on so many levels. We both liked the same thing from the same perspective such as fetish, clubs, music and from the opposite perspective i.e pain, submission etc. But like all things, it came to an end, ironically because she wanted to stop the Prodom side and divorce herself from that whole fetish scene. As a consequence, seeing as I was a huge part of that I was no longer going to be a part of her life. I will say it affected me quite hard and caused me to totally examine what I wanted from a fetish and BDSM lifestyle and whether I really did want a relationship like this again. Of course, being a guy I hid it and being British just accepted it. That's the way we often are and in hindsight it was probably the worst way I could have dealt with it. But we move on and find new things to explore and different people to have fun with and then start again.