I knew my cock would get me into trouble!

Here I am, once again, with my cock locked away in a chastity device all because I made a rash suggestion that someone said yes to.

Here’s what happened. I was meant to go and do some filming for a very well know Mistress who happens to love strap-on play. Through no fault of anyone it was cancelled to to Her not feeling well and I found myself shaved, douched and aroused! I was rummaging around in a toy bag and found my Birdlocked Neo that I have not worn for a year or so and just wondered what it would feel like on. So with no further ado, I put it on and snapped the lock shut.

Here’s where the trouble started. 

I have known Mistress R’eal for many years now.. having first met Her when i used to go to the infamous parties in London. Over the years we have become good friends and i still see Her from time to time to photograph and film. We had talked about chastity fantasies for some time and on the spur of the moment, i took a picture of myself locked up, sent it Her via Her twitter account asking if She wanted the key..initially as a joke. Quick as a flash came back the answer Yes!!

Mmm.. bad thoughts came to my mind as they do and feeling as horny as i was, we negotiated the terms, fines etc and initial length of time and i posted the key off to Her with no further ado.

Of course, after a few hours the reality came home to roost and now i find myself locked up, the key held by one of my Mistress friends who i know will not allow me any release before the agreed date no matter how hard i plea and beg. I have no doubt She is really enjoying this as for a long time i have talked about this with Her but always in a joking way, that was never meant to go anywhere.. but now i have gone and done it. So, i will keep a diary and no doubt some of the thoughts will appear on my twitter feed over the coming days.

Me and my stupid cock. I need to learn to ignore it as it gets me into a lot of trouble and this time my bluff was called and i lost.

Thinking

Been thinking a lot recently about this blog. When I first started it, this was really my only outlet for my thoughts and feelings on BDSM and fetish along with the lifestyle events I attended. But, with the increase in use of Twitter this has really taken a bag seat and now I wonder if I should just retire this or make the effort to blog and post on a more regular basis.

Don’t Panic!! It’s only a small crisis I hope.

I was out last night, into the wee hours of this morning (well actually until 8.30am) at a house party. But of course this was more than that, with everyone in the house into fetish and BDSM. There was a huge range of people there.. aged from 22 to 60 and with experience in the scene from 40 years to 40 days. So all in all, a good crowd of people who mostly knew each other or were soon chatting like old friends.

As one does, I started to chat, albeit quite late on in the party, to someone who had been “on the scene” (I seriously dislike that phrase but there you go, it is what people say) for 25 years or so (and whilst this person is very well known, I don’t have his permission to use his name so I won’t). We had been to the same clubs back in the mid ‘80’s – Der Putsch, Maitresse etc. and knew a lot of the same people. But we also found we both are struggling with a lot of the clubs and the way  it is at the moment especially of course when we look back at what it was like.

And this is the point. There is a crisis of sorts in the fetish club world. I should add that this may only be applicable to London as the vast majority of my experience comes from the London clubs.

Clubs are finding it harder to get venues, club owners are more and more concerned that the activities that take place in the club do not fall foul of the law and newcomers to the scene are seemingly morally prurient against activities that older clubbers would have considered totally normal not so many years back as they seem more about the fetish than the BDSM.

Let’s be clear here as I develop my thoughts. I do not dress in latex to be seen. I dress in latex because I love it and would consider it to a fetish that gives me an arousal in sexual terms. So, for me to go to a fetish club, it is not so much because I want to pose and preen but rather because I go with friends and we (less and less it seems) play to a level that we like and feel comfortable with. Clearly that is a lot harder and more severe than many others who perhaps have not been playing for so long or see it more as a sexual tease. To add some context to this, a story was told to me recently of an experienced couple going to a club and on entering the play room saw three very attractive girls, dressed in very fashionable latex sitting on the cross situated in the play room. On being asked to move and then watching the couple play, comments of “that’s disgusting” were heard from the girls concerned when the woman started to whip the guy, this being part of what they are really into. The consensus of thought from those discussing this was what did the girls think the club was about? But that one incident is not a solitary event and I have other similar occurrences from other clubs in recent times.

Even at clubs where play is encouraged, such as Pedestal and Subversion, there are more and more limits being imposed in order for the owner to keep their licence. No blood, no penetration, no genitalia exposed, no fluids, no sex, no fun! Maybe I miss the old clubs such as Smack, Submission and others. Or maybe I am just a dinosaur, I don’t know. I do know that the mix of people in clubs has changed with more clubs being about being seen rather than playing. The Gay scene is still pretty full on, I will say. But, whilst I have no issue going to gay fetish clubs, I sort of like the female element. And the TV/TS club scene has changed a lot. Gone are the sleazy nights at Stunners, Studio 11 etc. for a lot of the same reasons. Owners need to show a level of safety and adherence to the law when running club nights and fetish/BDSM clubs often step outside that. 

So what is the answer. If clubs are no longer really offering what was once out there how do is it overcome. What, if any, are the alternatives as for many of us we have stopped going to clubs as often as we used to or at all. I don’t have it but what I have seen is an increase in the number of private parties where we can indulge our hedonism to the max. Maybe Fetish and BDSM clubs will become one of the other with the BDSM moving back underground in the same way it was in the ‘80’s. I don’t know but one this is for sure. Those of us who love to play and play hard will always be around and we will always be comfortable doing what we do regardless of those who go to see and be seen.

Sensing

i can feel You watching me, waiting to see what i will say or do next in my desire to serve You.

Your presence is hidden but felt all the time. It's a game we both play but only You will be the winner as i know i cannot stop myself from wanting to serve You, submit to You, obey You.

More fun than is legal!

I do, by most standards, lead a pretty hedonistic life. I indulge my passions for BDSM and fetish on a regular basis as well as my exhibitionist tendencies. And as a result of this I often experience something new and exciting as happened last week when I had one of the most erotic and arousing experiences I have had for a long time.

Picture the scene - dressed in latex, in a hot tub with another wonderfully latex clad woman, both of us in gas masks, me with an extension tube. For the next 30 minutes, we indulged ourselves in our fetish, with me being pushed under the water, the long tube allowing me to breath as my excitement became very obvious. The latex becomes so smooth in the water and caressing her latex clad body with my latex gloves was a highly erotically charged moment.

I now of course, want to do this more and more. The only downside being the chlorine in the water that may cause damage to the latex. But of course, this just gives me an excuse to take a shower in it as well.

Have BDSM forums had their day?

Just recently I have been reflecting on the way I use the internet to communicate with others and how it has changed over the years and especially in the last two years how I have moved from looking at and contributing to BDSM related forums to using more social media centric sites such as twitter and Facebook.

Back in about 2001 I think, a new site appeared in the UK that was focussed very specifically on the Pro-Domme scene to offer a listings service and message board that soon morphed into a very active forum with a huge amount of debate on the many aspects of BDSM taking place. You could freely express your views and felt safe that you were not going to be shot down in flames from others just because your views were different from the others.

But of course, that could not last. The site grew and grew to over 5000 members. Some just to browse and read the reviews section (you had to be a member to access that particular part of the board) but many started to post to vehemently oppose the opinion of the original poster. People would create multiple identities and owners of other boards would come to post their own views and try to promote their board. The board had, for many, became a place where they could hide and express themselves in the way they wanted to be seen rather than they way they actually were. Many, who had so little experience, tried to tell those when many years experience how their views were the only one worth considering and any other point of view was not worth considering. Others became emotionally attached to the board, dragging other members into their shoddy lives and forming little cliques or them and us. If you were not part of the clique then you did not count. Moderators left in disgust and shame as the board just went into decline and I, along with many others took the decision that we it was not worth being a member and just left. Stopped posting and moved on with our lives. I was, amongst the submissive males there, one of a minority who was actually active in the BDSM scene that actually existed in real life. I was (and still am) a regular club goer and party attendee. I played on a regular basis both one-2-one and in groups and of course had my strong exhibitionist streak catered to by appearing in fetish films.

For about a year or so, I maintained an online silence not even looking at the newly re-incarnated version of the board. I did not miss it and to be honest found it quite good that I was not looking at board constantly, paranoid that I would miss something.

Then, about three years ago I found twitter and it was if a totally new world had opened up. Here was a place where I could be who I am with little fear of criticism. I could choose who I wanted to speak with and follow. No more putting up with people who I did not like. I found people I knew, had met and who I wanted to meet. But how was if different to a message board or forum. Why was it so different. It took a little while before it really came to me and it was the need to compress your thoughts into 140 characters, to put your thoughts into a short message. It was far more conversational than a forum where people would and still do regularly write essay length opinions. Twitter of course has its downsides. It can of course become addictive seeing how many followers you get, how many retweets you get etc. But with twitter I find I can leave it and just dip into it when I want. I can just read it and never respond or I can engage in lengthy conversations with others. Then of course there is Facebook.

Facebook is my very public persona and actually I have two Facebook accounts. One very very vanilla with family, friends from work etc. The other, well that is totally fetish centric. Again, I send friend requests to people I know in the fetish scene and in turn receive requests. The two (twitter and Facebook) co-exist to form good public profile that  I control and others interact with. There are no arguments, no  flaming wars, no bickering. The message board offered me none of that. Each post I made ran the risk of being jumped on or attacked and I found myself self-moderating my posts and becoming someone very different to who I wanted to be or indeed was.

As I write this I start to think about this blog and what it represents. I suppose in some ways it could almost be seen as a replacement for my posting on forums. In some ways I suppose it is but I find I can be far more expressive here than I ever was on the forums and believe me, I was pretty expressive there.

So am I alone in my thought? I realise I have not really answered the question but I do see that most boards seem to have declined in activity and the active users count is pretty low on most boards. They have, in many ways, become ubiquitous and with Mistresses, listing sites and many others all setting up forums as it was seen the right thing to do. But now we have Facebook pages and to a lesser degree now, MySpace. We have twitter and we have a far more tolerant social media site in Fetlife that we ever had before. So, yes, I do believe Forums are dead but they will never really die as there will always be those who want to show the world that your opinion is the wrong opinion no matter what.

Going wild in the country

So, finally the day arrived, the one so many of had been waiting for – The English Mansion Femdom Summer Ball. Much anticipation had been occurring on various boards and over twitter and it was going to be a great day for all that were going. The original plan was that I would be going with Mistress and be under her “protection” but of course the best laid plans etc. meant that due to circumstances beyond Her control She was unable to make it and I was going to have to go solo..

Bags packed, outfit ready (yes outfits as I could never just take one as I do have a latex fetish and an exhibitionist fetish to release) toys all ready I headed down to the West Country for the day. Now up until the 25th May, the weather in England had been fantastic for the time of year. Sunny, hot, dry.. Of course that had to end and it came to an end on the 26th May. Wind, rain, cloud .. not exactly the weather we were hoping for I have to admit but none the less I was sure there would be contingency planning as Mistress Sidonia, the fantastic host, is the Mistress of organisation.

Once I arrived at the designated parking area (see, I told you She was organised) I made my way to the house (and what a house) to say hello and say lots of activity going on but also lots of tranny maids already there dressed and preparing glasses, drinks etc. Amazing. Got changed (once I had decided what to wear) and saw an old friend had also arrived so of course that just meant I had to chat whilst waiting for the coaches (what can I say.. organisation) arrived from London and Birmingham bearing more party goers.

Now, this bit gets slightly complicated. There were a system of coloured wrist bands that designated what you were into. I had opted for a couple  with the previous expectation that Mistress would be with me. However as this had changed and as I was well known to the “house” Lady Nina Birch thought I should have an everything goes  no limits black band! Given my single loathing of CP and Caning, I was not sure this was the best idea but to late, the deed was done and I was sent out to join the masses and say hello to many of the Mistresses I either knew in person and had chatted to over twitter.

Well the day went one, the time passed so quickly! Of course, being the slut I am (in so many meanings of the word) I indulged myself in play with Mistress Rouge, once again bending over for Her and being buggered with her strap-on in front of the crowd over a glass floor with me being trampled by Mistress Velour at the same time as having my legs held up by Mistress Esme and Madame Caramel whilst wearing a gas mask! You had to be there but it worked!

But later on in the day, finally meeting Mistress Jezabel was a treat and finding a Mistress who is of such a like mind to mine that resulted in a gorgeous sensual and painful needle play session. She is clearly a sadist and mixed with my overwhelming masochistic desires we clicked leading to me just floating away into a happy place whilst having my flesh punctured.

I will write more but of course my thanks have to go out to Mistress Sidonia, Her partner and all the others that helped make it a great day.