It's Wednesday morning. My emotional state is finally back to one of near normality. Yesterday i seemed to spend most of the day in an almost dream like state. The realisation of what has transpired only really began to sink in yesterday. Nothing bad of course, just the knowledge that i had made one of the biggest commitments of my DS life ever and of course one that i have no regrets about whatsoever.



i want to shout out loud to all i know that i, yes me, am a slave to Mistress Diva. Many thought it could never be done, but finally after 23 years i seem to have suddenly started to take BDSM seriously.



It's a sudden realisation that i am off to New York on Saturday. Then, Mistress Diva goes out there on the 19th. There is now a big possibility that i will not get to see Mistress Diva again this month. That thought makes me feel sad. Can i really cope with seeing Mistress Diva once a month. i am sure i can but there is a part of me that wants to see Mistress Diva every day. Impossible i know, but its almost as if there is this primeval instinct for me to be at Mistress Diva's side every waking moment, a desire almost to be treated like a puppy. i have no idea where these feelings come from and why they have arisen. Anyway reality tends to kick in when i think like this and i become happier with the way things are.



It has been good telling people about the changes. No-one has been anything except pleased about it. i am sure that they are all genuinely pleased and most say it's about time too!