The sense of guilt of not posting is immense. OK, i have been in New York and the combination of work and dinner has meant that i have had little time to post. But even so, it is not a position i want to be in. Being able to put my thoughts down has become something i like doing and when i don't do it, something i miss.



So, here i am out in NY. One of the world's most decadent cities and i find myself behaving! No going to "gentleman's" clubs, no TS bars.. and the funny thing is i don't want to either. Previous trips have usually included a visit to at least one salubrious Establishment of one kind or another but this time i knew that it would not be an option. Whilst Mistress Diva would only find out if i told Her, i know that i would be letting myself down and this has become an important part of the way i feel about my collaring to Mistress Diva.



i do miss Mistress Diva. When back in the UK, i am usually able to grab some on line time with Her, but out here, the work schedule, coupled with evening agenda with people from head office means i have very little time to spend on-line other than work related things. i crave Her contact and now, suddenly, i find that i crave Her discipline, i want to no only submit my mind but at this moment my body. The desire is like a wave, crashing down on my, making me drown in desire and want.



It seems like forever that i last saw Mistress Diva. The reality is of course very different, but the sense of being alone, away from Mistress Diva is one that i hate.



It's not long to go now and i will be back home. Even if i don't get to see Mistress Diva, the feeling of just being closer in miles, for those few days will make me feel good.