4 days have passed since the last entry. In the normal run of events not much changes in life rather the way we feel about things does and often changes without us realising it until we take time to think about it. i seem to have gone through a whole gamut of feelings in the last 4 days. Guilt - for not remembering why the shower punishment was given. Remorse for forgetting and finally happiness. Just a small phrase from Mistress Diva and it lifts me up and makes me smile all over. Being told that Mistress Diva is "comfortable" with me is a huge step. i have, i hope, shown Mistress Diva that i am a very different person to the one She first just over a year ago at a party. Inside i feel happy. Thinking about Mistress Diva, even the act of writing here, makes me warm. i was not sure what my feelings would be when the proposal was made by Mistress Diva for contractual slavery. But even now, in it's early stages i feel safe and happy. The feeling of ownership i am sure can only grow stronger and therefore make me a happier better person.



Spent quite a long time yesterday looking at the checklist sent to me by Mistress Diva. i did not know there were so many kinky activities! Worse though... i seem to have done most of them. It was an interesting exercises, looking at the list, thinking about my level of enjoyment with each of them. It soon became clear as to what i really like and dislike. And in some cases really really like! But the hardest part was grading it. Knowing that will form part of a contract i enter into with Mistress Diva i have to be honest on it, but not hold back on areas i know that i don't like but will be open enough to try and learn to accept as part of my submission to Mistress Diva.