Tuesday 13th. Feel totally exhausted after working in my garden all day. Physical work is always very satisfying but when you do so little of it it does tend to wear you out!



Why is this relevant? Well, Sunday I was out all day, Monday working in my garden and then Monday night came and I just crashed out in bed around 10. This meant that my window of opportunity to masturbate has gone until i am given permission by Mistress Diva to do so again. This is most annoying as i do like to masturbate. In fact, i love it. Coupled with the on-going shower treatment, which i still cannot get used to, a week to remember i am sure.



In the shower this morning, i tried to make a concerted effort to not think about the cold water on my body but rather on Mistress Diva and my submission to Her. It seems i can do so for about 15, 20 seconds but not more before i go back to thinking about the water. This is better than the first day and i am sure that i will get used to it, but just wonder when. Still as they say, "no pain, no gain".



My thoughts of Mistress Diva are frequent and varied. There is a element of me that craves knowledge of how Mistress Diva sees me. Almost seeking praise and flattery when of course i deserve none. Other times, i just think of what i need to do to ensure my submission to Mistress Diva continues and grows. My desire to serve Her, please Her and in many ways to be as complete as i can i my submission is so strong at times it is all i can think about. It occurs at any moment, unexpected and usually an intrusion into my thoughts that i welcome warmly. In my mind, i hear Mistress Diva's laugh, see Her smile and feel Her touch. It is becoming almost addictive in my craving more of this and i know that if i show my submission i will be rewarded with these gifts.